The Weirdest NBA Injuries in HIstory
- Aug 17, 2019
- 3 min read
I saw a man drop a big bottle of Irn Bru on his foot in Tesco yesterday and that inspired me to write this blog post...it’s also the offseason and I really can’t be arsed to write about grading trade deals and who i think will win MVP.
Now, as NBA fans we obviously hate seeing a player get injured, but sometimes there’s a report of a player getting hurt in such a stupid way that we can’t help but laugh - so here’s a list of some of the dumbest injuries in NBA history.
Sam Cassell & His Big Balls
In 2004, the Minnesota Timberwolves had their best chance of reaching the NBA Finals, Kevin Garnett was leading the charge and the Lakers were their next opponents in the Western Conference Finals.
Now this may sound odd, but Sam Cassell hit a big shot against the Sacramento Kings in Game 7 of the Western Conference semi-finals and proceeded to do his ‘Big Balls Dance’ - in doing so, he reportedly caused an allusion fracture in his hip.
Gilbert Arenas & His own scrotum
I’m just going to let Gilbert tell the story...
‘’When I was new in the NBA the team veterans convinced me to shave, you know, down there because they said the hair stinks. I used my girlfriends razor which was rusty and gave me keloids. The doctor prescribed medicine to dab on, but I just poured it all over. Three days later I woke up screaming. The skin was burnt off my scrotum, down to my crack - just raw flesh. I still had to run and play so I used a numbing spray for a month until it healed. Now I use clippers.''
Jut let that story sink in.
Greg Ostertag & Getting out of bed
After his first day of practise with the Sacramento Kings, big Greg fractured his hand by tripping on a footstool while getting out of bed.
Why does anyone have a footstool in their bedroom?
If you see Greg, please ask him.
Eddy Curry & Walking
Eddy Curry missed a game after spraining his ankle walking through his morning shoot-around session.
His teammate at the time, Malik Rose summed it up rather well - ‘’How do you explain something like that?’’
Darko Milicic & Playing in the NBA
As a Pistons fan I have a soft spot for Darko. I’m certain that if we didn’t draft him, we wouldn’t have won the title in 2004. Speaking of which, Darko got two minutes on court against the Lakers in that finals and managed to turn the ball over, grab a rebound, grab a steal and break his hand. A stat line that hasn't been repeated to this day.
Also shoutout to OP Darko on NBA 2K6 (my first NBA 2K game) and Kristjan Archer for lending it to me for the last 13 years, I still have it back at my parents house.
TY Lawson & Enes Kanter Shitting themselves
Both of these players have missed games due to having the runs, the brown from down under, the trots and other slang terms for diarrhoea.
Big Enes tweeted about his ‘cheat day’ and then missed his next game with the New York Knicks despite his team claiming it had nothing to do with the towering plate of burgers and fries.
TY missed a game for the Sacramento Kings against the Brooklyn Nets after asking Instagram for ‘bomb taco’ spots in Sac town.
He probably should have gone to LeBron’s house.
Tony Allen being Tony Allen
Did you know Tony Allen used to play for the Boston Celtics? I always forget.
Anyway, Tony decided to throw down a dunk after the whistle, missed it and blew out his ACL and MCL on the same knee.
The basketball gods work in mysterious ways...
Now, there’s lot of other stupid ways that NBA players have injured themselves, and i'm more than happy to write a 'part two' - so let me know on Twitter or whatever.
One final thing, shoutout to Emma's Kitchen in Twyford for having amazing cake and letting me use their WiFi.
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